please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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