nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm at about main and main street
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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