dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
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