Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
