your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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