Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
