it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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