Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
