So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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