So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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