yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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