yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
