pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
