Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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