we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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