Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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