Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
