The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
