my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
