If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
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Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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