I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
