after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
