But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Someone came in the potted fern
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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