yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
don't judge my taste in strippers
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
