I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
