dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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