I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
