Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
