We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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