we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Success! We fucked roommates!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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