You made me cry and you don't even care
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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