I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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