I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
