I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just high enough for therapy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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