First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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