I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
