Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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