The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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