you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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