i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize