No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
