So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
