I faked an abortion last night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize