I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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