i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
