after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
