dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize