So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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