Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
