I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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