you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
