Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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