I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
