Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize