I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
